Tuesday 21 May 2013

Funny I Love You Sayings Photos Pictures Pics Images 2013

Funny I Love You Sayings Definition

Source(Google.com.pk)
Love is usually thought of as long term, involving commitment to the relationship. But love can also be seen as occurring or not, moment by moment. In fact, the moment by moment occurrence of love and other emotions may point toward an important issue in defining attunement in genuine love.
Marshall Rosenberg (1999), defining what he calls “non-violent communication,” has suggested that in close relationships, maintaining empathic connectedness (what I have been referring to as attunement) must be treated as more important than any particular topic being discussed. This idea seems to go to the very heart of genuine love, since it brings up the issue of impediments to love and resulting lapses.
In Rosenberg’s workshops, this question often arises in parent-child relationships, when a mother or father complains about a child’s behavior. For example, a mother may repeat dialogue between her and her son about getting his homework done before watching TV or playing electronic games.  Rosenberg begins by explaining that the child has a need for autonomy, for being his own persons, as well as a need for remaining connected with the parent.
This idea seems to be lost on the parent. She will ask: “So how do I get him to do the homework?” The parent seems to have the idea that what is involved is a test of wills, and that the way to go is to have a stronger will than the child. Rosenberg then goes on to explain that the parent needs to show that empathic connectedness is more important to her than getting the homework done. That is, that she respects the child’s need for autonomy.
In terms of love, Rosenberg’s idea seems to be that in genuine love, the lovers show that maintaining attunement is usually more important than anything else. That is, nothing outside of the relationship (work, children, household tasks, and so on) is more important than the relationship itself.
One implication is that any kind of ultimatum, no matter how subtle, violates the love contract. One of the ways this issue comes up is in discussions of commitment between men and women. Because of differences in upbringing, often it is the woman in a relationship who confronts the man about his commitment. Typically, both sides behave badly in this confrontation. Here is a dialogue between students in one my classes that illustrates the problem.
Confronted by Janey, Charlie appears to feel cornered. It doesn’t matter whether he actually doesn’t know, or if he is just stalling. He has disconnected. Whatever love the two have for each other is not happening in this particular episode, because there is no attunement.
idea of attunement also may help to understand the intensity of the feeling of love. Balanced attunement is a way of describing a secure bond; the corresponding emotion is genuine (authentic) pride. Just as shame/embarrassment are the emotions of lack of attunement, so pride is generated by attunement (Chapter 3). Even for non-erotic love, the conjunction of feelings of attachment and genuine pride, the absence of sadness and shame, presumably can give rise to powerful sensations of wellbeing. In erotic love, when further conjoined with sexual arousal, these three different rivers of sensation may be the most intense pleasurable experience of which humans are capable.
To understand the emotional components of love, it is necessary to consider both the presence and the absence of emotions. First consider the emotions connected with attachment and separation. Sadness (grief) is the crucial indicator of attachment: we miss the loved one when she or he is away, and we are struck down with grief at their loss. But what is the motion connected with the presence of the loved one? Joy is too strong a word for this feeling. I suppose one might say that rather than feeling a particular feeling, one merely feels normal, or the absence of pain.
But the situation maybe a bit more complex than it seems. Suppose that in modern industrial/urban societies, one experiences a sense of separation from others early on in childhood. There is such intense pressure for individuation and individual achievement and recognition that we are practically forced to separate ourselves from others. Not just our parents, but from all others, even, to some extent, from those closest to us.
Supposing, for the sake of discussion, that modern societies give rise to this kind of extreme separation in virtually every one, what would be the consequences? There are two that I think are relevant to understanding the emotion of love. First, we all learn to defend against feelings of loneliness and isolation. That is to say, we learn to suppress and/or ignore these painful feelings. Secondly, however, this kind of maneuver is usually only partially successful. Most of us go through most of our life bearing at leasa hint of sadness as background to our activities.

Funny I Love You Sayings Photos Pictures Pics Images 2013

Funny I Love You Sayings Photos Pictures Pics Images 2013

Funny I Love You Sayings Photos Pictures Pics Images 2013

Funny I Love You Sayings Photos Pictures Pics Images 2013

Funny I Love You Sayings Photos Pictures Pics Images 2013

Funny I Love You Sayings Photos Pictures Pics Images 2013

Funny I Love You Sayings Photos Pictures Pics Images 2013

Funny I Love You Sayings Photos Pictures Pics Images 2013

Funny I Love You Sayings Photos Pictures Pics Images 2013

Funny I Love You Sayings Photos Pictures Pics Images 2013

Funny I Love You Sayings Photos Pictures Pics Images 2013

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