Saturday 25 May 2013

Funny Love Quotes For Your Boyfriend Photos Pictures Pics Images 2013

Funny Love Quotes For Your Boyfriend Photos Pictures Pics Images 2013

Source(Google.com.pk)
To understand the emotional components of love, it is necessary to consider both the presence and the absence of emotions. First consider the emotions connected with attachment and separation. Sadness (grief) is the crucial indicator of attachment: we miss the loved one when she or he is away, and we are struck down with grief at their loss. But what is the motion connected with the presence of the loved one? Joy is too strong a word for this feeling. I suppose one might say that rather than feeling a particular feeling, one merely feels normal, or the absence of pain.
But the situation maybe a bit more complex than it seems. Suppose that in modern industrial/urban societies, one experiences a sense of separation from others early on in childhood. There is such intense pressure for individuation and individual achievement and recognition that we are practically forced to separate ourselves from others. Not just our parents, but from all others, even, to some extent, from those closest to us.
Supposing, for the sake of discussion, that modern societies give rise to this kind of extreme separation in virtually every one, what would be the consequences? There are two that I think are relevant to understanding the emotion of love. First, we all learn to defend against feelings of loneliness and isolation. That is to say, we learn to suppress and/or ignore these painful feelings. Secondly, however, this kind of maneuver is usually only partially successful. Most of us go through most of our life bearing at least a hint of sadness as background to our activities.
But genuine love silences this background noise, at least temporarily. When one is connected with the loved one, one feels normal in the sense of sadness being absent. The attachment emotion may be the absence of sadness, as if a heavy weight has been lifted.
The same reasoning applies to the presence of pride that accompanies the shared identity and awareness during moments of genuine love. The feeling of authentic pride that is registered is not only that of the emotion itself, but also, and probably much more intensely, the absence of the background noise of humiliation, shame and embarrassment.
Not only sadness, but shame and embarrassment, real or anticipated, are a continuing presence in the life of denizens of modern societies. Goffman’s first and best known book, Presentation of Self in Everyday Life (1959) made this point in many different ways. His Everyperson is constantly aware of her or his standing the eyes of the others, but helpless to do anything about it, and is usually anticipating, or often, actually experiencing shame or embarrassment. Perhaps the most powerful feelings connected with love concern not only the presence of pleasurable emotions, but the absence of painful ones.Formulating a concept of love would seem to be a fool’s errand. Not only must one refute a vast number of scholarly definitions, but much worse, try to overturn the vernacular, commonsense meanings. Might as well stop the wind, or repel the ocean tide. Nevertheless, it may be worth the effort if we are to understand ourselves and our relationships,
I define non-erotic love as having two main components, attachment, on the one hand, and attunement, on the other. Romantic love also has these two components, as well as third, sexual attraction. Attachment is a physical bond, attunement, in the sense of a balanced sense of shared identity and awareness, a psychological and emotional bond. The two together can provide a definition of non-erotic love much less ambiguous than the vernacular ones..
Attachment gives a physical sense of a connection to the other. The most obvious cue to attachment is sadness when the other is absent or lost, and the sense of normality and fulfillment when the other returns. Another, less frequent cue, is the sense of having always known a person whom we have just met. This feeling may be extremely intense when it occurs, but it also may be completely absent.
Feelings of loss are not continuous, but they are much more stable than attunement, which varies from moment to moment.  The attachment component accounts for an otherwise puzzling aspect of  “love” in its vernacular sense: how one can “love” someone that one doesn’t even like? One is attached, despite one’s negative cognitive/emotional reaction to the other, and despite the other’s behavior, no matter how rejecting. A popular song from the 40’s evokes this kind of “love”:Physical attachment gives the lover a sense of urgency, even desperation. Furthermore, attachment is like imprinting in other creatures; it occurs very early in infancy, and may last a lifetime. It is attachment that makes loss of a love one profoundly and unavoidably painful. After such a loss, one may suffer grief for many months or years. Grief is the price that our bodies exact for lost attachment.
When we lose a loved one, we may be in great pain, off and on, for a long period of time. This process is biologically based on genetic inheritance. It cannot be completely avoided. But it can be very long, months or years, or shorter, depending upon the completeness of mourning. If one does what Freud called “the grief work,” the work of mourning, the amount and duration of pain may be lessened.
However, modern societies have difficulty recognizing the necessity of mourning. Our individualistic ethos maintains that we are all self-contained, not recognizing how dependent we are on others, especially those we are attached to. After a loss, a person who cries for more than a month or so may be told get a grip, or see a psychiatrist, or take a tranquilizer. Such attitudes interfere with mourning, which is always necessary because attachment is genetically based.

Funny Love Quotes For Your Boyfriend Photos Pictures Pics Images 2013

Funny Love Quotes For Your Boyfriend Photos Pictures Pics Images 2013

Funny Love Quotes For Your Boyfriend Photos Pictures Pics Images 2013

Funny Love Quotes For Your Boyfriend Photos Pictures Pics Images 2013

Funny Love Quotes For Your Boyfriend Photos Pictures Pics Images 2013

Funny Love Quotes For Your Boyfriend Photos Pictures Pics Images 2013

Funny Love Quotes For Your Boyfriend Photos Pictures Pics Images 2013

Funny Love Quotes For Your Boyfriend Photos Pictures Pics Images 2013

Funny Love Quotes For Your Boyfriend Photos Pictures Pics Images 2013

Funny Love Quotes For Your Boyfriend Photos Pictures Pics Images 2013

Funny Love Quotes For Your Boyfriend Photos Pictures Pics Images 2013

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